Book: The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama

The Light We Carry, my latest read is written by Michelle Obama. This author needs no introduction. She is well known as the Former First Lady of the United States of America. She has authored three books so far - American Grown, Becoming and The Light We Carry. I loved her memoir Becoming and this my second of her works. In Becoming, she took us through her life, right from her childhood to the time she spent as the First Lady of US.

In The Light We Carry, Michelle Obama focused on a more specific topic. She provided us a glimpse of her habits, practices, attitudes and beliefs she follows to stay balanced and confident, even during times of high anxiety and stress, both in her professional and personal space. She calls them as toolbox which she developed over time based on her life experiences and calls it as her own ongoing process of “Becoming”.

Through this book, Michelle Obama discusses about finding personal power, communal power and the power to override feelings of doubt and helplessness. It is imperative we recognize that our self-worth is wrapped in vulnerability and each of us strive for better. If we know our light, we know ourselves. This self realization helps us build confidence, which in turn breeds calmness and an ability to maintain perspective which enables us to meaningfully connect with others. So basically one light feeds another. One strong family provides strength to more. One engaged community can ignite everyone around it. This is the power of the light we carry.

In this book, Michelle Obama doesn't just pass down her rule book. Instead she elaborates how she built her tool box and inspires us to look within and around us to build our own set of tools to lead life. Few important life lessons from The Light We Carry.

The power of small

When everything starts to feel big, shift your focus on the small. Any circumstance that seems to overpower you, look for something simple that helps to rearrange your thoughts. May be you might get a solution to your problem, if not, you might get a satisfaction of achieving something even if its of small scale. So when you feel all consuming, try to do something to relax like baking, gardening, knitting, reading or cleaning your closet. Michelle's was knitting, a hobby she picked up when the world was in a chaos couple of years back due to Covid. It helped her shift focus from racial tensions, politics and of course, the pandemic. 

Decoding fear

We all are afraid of something or the other. Michelle doesn’t emphasize about not fearing at all. In fact, no human is immune to fear.  Michelle quotes it's the approach of handling fear that makes the difference. That’s how great men in history have achieved what they have. They have learned how to be comfortably afraid. Its about learning to deal wisely with fear, find a way to let your nerves guide you rather than stop you.

Decoding fear involves taking a pause to consider our own instincts, examining what we step back from and what we might more readily step toward, and maybe most importantly, analyzing why we are stepping forward or backward. In short, the vital aspect of decoding fear is to know how to identify it and then tame it within.

Starting Kind

Start your day with kindness specially to your own self. It doesn’t have to be very grand where we declare a big agenda for the day. It could be as simple as a grateful acknowledgement that you have made it once again to starting a new day. Michelle Obama tells a story abt one of her friends Ron. He greets himself at the start of everyday greeting aloud "Heeeey buddy!!". She suggests to find our way “to box out the inner critic and push our gladness out front”, everyday with a message that says You’re here, and that’s a happy miracle!!

Am I Seen?

Do I belong? What do others think of me? How am I seen? - These questions often haunt almost all of us. Michelle Obama was no exception. But she drew her answer from her father's life, he lived on his own terms despite the illness he was battling with – "No one can make you feel bad, if you feel good about yourself. How you view yourself becomes everything. It is the foundation for changing the world around you."

Build and nourish your circle

Make friends and most importantly make conscious effort to cultivate that friendship. No matter how hectic your life is, have a handful of friends, who would say I got you and I’ll be there. Most importantly, they should really mean it.

Michelle Obama sees new friendship as daisies, they pop-up often at unusual places – holiday party, salon, through children, their activities. She says "if I encountered someone interesting, I made a point to follow up with them through email or phone, proposing to meet for lunch or at a play ground." Now a days, how many of us make a genuine effort to connect with others? 

Many of us are looking for a sense of home. But people feel embarrassed to admit their loneliness,. We don’t want to appear needy. But making a genuine connect with another person does help to counteract all this. In true friendship, you remove filter. Your friends know your truest feelings, truest self and you know theirs.

Partnering well

Michelle Obama believes a partner is not a fix for your issues or a filler of your needs. You don’t settle down with someone because you are looking for a breadwinner or a caregivers or a parent for your kids, or rescue from your problems. Those arrangements rarely work. So instead focus on finding someone who will do the work with you contributing on all fronts. According to Michelle Obama, a successful partnership is like a winning basketball team, made up of individuals with interchangeable skill sets. Each player has to know not just how to shoot, but also how to dribble, pass and defend.

The whole of Us

Each one of us is alone. Be less afraid to share and more ready to listen. Try to build whatever platform possible between another person. When the wholeness of your story adds to the wholeness of mine, I see a little of you, you see a little of me, fostering togetherness. 

Apart from these, Michelle Obama shared the wonderful bonding her family had with her mother and the aura she left on everybody around her. Her mom had been Michelle's secret weapon to handle her parental anxieties. Michelle shared few of her mom's beliefs which helped her to become a calmer, less guilt ridden and decent parent to her daughters. 

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and strongly suggest you to read as well. This book offers wholesome experiences from Michelle Obama's life that gives you a perspective. While reading, I am sure, you will automatically acknowledge how your personal experiences have chalked your perspective, attitude and means of handling uncertainty. After all, we are what our experiences are. Aren't we? 

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Happy reading!!